And so it begins... iPad Countdown!

Next week is our wedding anniversary, it will be 9 years since my husband and I stood in front of our friends and family and promised to spend the rest of our lives together.  So innocently and naive we were when accepted those vows not realizing what would come with them: 3 kids, a mortgage, long nights of my husband snoring, and laundry and dishes that pile up higher than our ceilings.  Through it all, I love my husband more now than I did then.

However, as amazing as my husband is he doesn’t always get the nice little “clues” I leave him when it comes to gift giving.  He means well but I have received a lot of kitchen appliances, miscellaneous sports equipment, and “I Love You Mom” mugs.  This year I would really like an iPad.  In my previous post I listed six reasons for why he would want me to have one… it made him laugh, and not in a comical way but more of a “no way will I ever buy you one” way.  So this will be my last *little* nudge, I will cross my fingers that it works!

Reasons # 7-10 on “Why my Husband should want me to have an iPad”

7.  You don’t know how to sew.  Eating fast food every night for dinner will eventually lead to your buttons popping off your pants.  Your waistline will miss my home cooked meals, and so will you. 

8.  I am annoying.  I’m pretty sure that after 9 years of being married to me you have figured this fact out.  It may have dawned on you when I decided to make signs and held a sit-in in our living room once over a puppy named “Bob the Bull Dog”.  But back then I was very young, I didn’t realize how to bargain effectively.  Thank goodness I have matured… and with maturity came a lot more annoying qualities that don’t tend to back down. 

9.  The sofa is not very comfortable.  After driving 3 hours, crashing my car, and dealing with screaming kids we were able to bring home the sofa I found off of Craigslist.  Sadly, you hit a pothole on the freeway and broke off a leg.  We have yet to replace it, so our sofa tends to tilt to one side.  This can make it very awkward to sleep on.  Not to mention, I don’t share pillows or blankets to those who sleep on my sofa.

10.  Last, but not least.  You are my very best friend.  You love me more than anyone could ever love me.  You enjoy seeing me smile.  You enjoy making me happy.  Watching me open up my gift will bring complete joy into your life.  You will be able to officially day a happy man.  It will complete you.

So, dearest husband I leave you with this…

The nearest Apple store is in the Irvine Spectrum and they open at 10am and close at 9pm.  And use the credit card that gives us miles, we will be needing them next year when we celebrate our 10 year!

Why my husband is going to buy me an iPad...

My future baby.  Like it?

At the end of this month I will be celebrating my nine year anniversary with my amazing husband, two days later I will be celebrating my 20^th birthday (yes, I got married at 11 year old and if you don’t believe me then ask my plastic surgeon).   I’ve thought long and hard about what I want, and I’ve decided to finally move into the 21^st century by getting an Apple iPad.  I am tired of being the only person waiting in the pickup line at Thing #1’s school without one to keep me entertained as parents in the front of the line (the good parents that show up early and actually want to take their kids home)take their time strapping Buffy and Blake tightly into their Mercedes station wagon while giving them huge kisses and asking about their day, all while I’m dealing with two screaming kids in the backseat and one that is threatening to pee his car seat if I don’t take him to a bathroom “RIGHT NOW”.  I mean seriously, I’m pretty sure some kids in Coto are getting them on their 1^st birthdays. 

 I want one, RIGHT NOW!  So I am trying to come up with a list of reasons that will convince my amazing husband that the money invested in purchasing one will be worth it.  So here it goes:

 

1.        iPads don’t get (many)  STD’s viruses. I have had a huge problem, in that past, with the websites that I frequent (*cough* TMZ *cough*) leaving me with many broken promises and contagious diseases.  After feeling used and unwanted, they also end up slowing down my computer to the point that my I could paint my whole living room, clean up my mess, and watch the paint dry all while my computer is still trying to open up Internet Explorer.  My husband gets frustrated; he gets down right mad.   So this will not only save my husband from premature wrinkling but it will also save us from any future therapy sessions ($10 co-pays add up fast).  My point- This will make my husband’s life so much happier.

2.       I’m saving trees, which equals dollar signs when you add up all the $6 paperback books I keep purchasing from Target.  I have already confessed to reading horrible chick-lit books, and sadly this obsession doesn’t seem to be fading.  As a matter of fact, I’m in desperate need to start a new book (any recommendations?) and my fingers keep twitching each time I go to buy one at Target and notice the price tag.  I know that I could be going to the library but with the three kids, it ends up being a nightmare.  I never know what I want, I try to drag them to the adult fiction section all why trying to whisper things like “stop talking” “don’t run” “stop hitting each other” and “get your finger out of your nose”.  It’s not very enjoyable.  So I prefer Target, because they can behave badly but I ignore it due to the vast amount of items in their 75% off section.  My point- books keep me entertained and out of the malls, but are expensive, so I need an eReader… Stat. 

3.        Steve Jobs is dead.  Poor Steve Jobs passed away and his wife and kids are left behind with mere pennies.  So as a follow wife, mother, and woman I feel like it is my duty to help support his family and to keep food in his children’s bellies and a roof over their head.  We can write this off as me being a Humanitarian.  My point- this could possibly count as a tax deduction on our 2012 tax return.

4.       I want to cook unbelievable recipes, but need to find them first.  Normally I take our very expensive computer into my kitchen and use it to Google recipes for dinner.  Halfway through making those amazing dinners, I start to get things in my laptop’s keyboard; like flour and sugar.  Eventually my laptop stops working, or at least a few of the letters will start sticking together.  So when I try to fill out the refinance paperwork for our mortgage online it says that my name is “Rin” instead of “Briana” due to the “B” and the “A” no longer being in service.  Which then can lead to our loan being denied due to fraud since that is obviously not my name.  My point- this could keep us out of jail for identity theft and your belly filled with good food.  

5.       We will become unicorns and fly over rainbows.   Well, that’s not exactly true.  But I will be able to save all of our kids photos on something called a “cloud” which will save you from having to sync our laptops up to the external hard drive every time the news talks about a new virus that is killing all the laptops and causing people to lose their irreplaceable photos.  And since I have been known to freak out by those news reports, this will help calm my nerves and relieve you from spending hours trying to sort through which photos need to be moved over and which ones already have.  My point- At the end of this rainbow is a cloud, filled with iPads that are just begging for you to take them home.  So buy one, buy one now. 

6.       It’s cheaper than the 2 carat diamond I have already requested for our 10 year anniversary.  This doesn’t really need an explanation, just a mere “Thank you” will do.

 

I would love to make my list “10 Reasons Why I need an iPad” but I stopped with ideas once I got to #7, so that is where all of you (my awesome readers) come into play.  Please post in the comments section any reasons why you think it is completely necessary for my husband to purchase me an iPad for my anniversary/birthday.  And they have to be reasons why my husband will want me to have one, not reasons that I want one.  So no “they have a new vibrating app you can purchase that works great when you are reading ’50 Shades of Grey’”, because I’m pretty sure that won’t be a selling point for him.

Any and all reasons will be read and I will post next week my final four to complete the list.  Then I will forward it to my husband, cross my fingers and toes, and pray that he will find it in his heart to grant me this one wish.  Especially since I never, ever, ever ask for anything…

5 Things You Never Cared To Know About ME!

The kids & I after a long day hiking... don't judge!

It has been over a month since I’ve started this blog and by the increase in readership I’m assuming that it’s no longer just my sister and my close friends who are reading Growing Oranges.  There may be a few of you who actually don’t know who I am, who don’t get annoying calls from me at 11am every morning when I start to realize that my kids are horrible and I’m not even halfway done with my day, nor do you read my personal Facebook page where I talk about things like missing Speedo’s in the Olympics (thank goodness those cute water polo boys still rock them) or show pictures of my children’s utter failures (like decorating my house with toilet paper).

So in an effort for you to get a better idea of who I am as a person, I thought I would share “5 Things You Didn’t Know About Me… Especially Since You Don’t Know Me”:

1.       My kids are horrible little monsters!  There are some people you will meet that will tell you that their kids are crazy and will warn you about how bad they behave, and then you will meet their kids and realize that they totally exaggerated everything they ever said.  That is not me.  I am not one of those moms.  My boys are horrible little monsters.  I try, I really truly try to keep them under control but it just doesn’t always work out for me.  So in an effort to avoid public humiliation I don’t go out to eat to any restaurant that doesn’t have a playground, I never take them to the mall (I was told on Friday that Crate & Barrel closed down in the Mission Viejo mall years ago… I had no idea), and I have to lock myself in my bedroom and then lock myself in my bathroom if I want to make a phone call without having the kids screaming in the background.  Moral to this little fact about me: hanging out with me and my kids will make you love your kids just a little more than before.

2.       My house is dirty.  I can never understand how people (especially moms) have these adorable blogs where they post every single day, do amazing DIY projects, and cook gourmet meals while still having these fantastic homes in the background.  This is not me.  I am not one of those bloggers.  My house is dirty, not like “call CPS and the hoarders show” dirty but I probably need to scrub my bathrooms a little bit more than I do and catch up on the 15 loads of laundry that are currently taking up residency in my garage.  I drive my husband crazy; he can’t understand why I never put the laundry away after folding it on the sofa (when I actually get around to doing the laundry).  Or why I can’t put back the clothes that I took out of the closet, tried on, decided I didn’t like, and then left in a pile on my bedroom floor.  I need an intervention, which actually means I need a maid.  But again, the moral to this little fact about me: hanging out in my house will make your husband appreciate you a little more than before.

3.       I read horrible chick-flick books.  This is a very hard fact to admit to, but I need to just rip the Band-Aid off and wave my “Chick Flick Flag” with pride.  I have a large collection of paperback books from cheesy writers like Nicholas Sparks and Sophie Kinsella.  My philosophy with reading is that if I learn something from it, then I don’t want to read it.  I’ve been through college; I’ve put my years of reading in.  I now want to entertain myself with horrible romance books that tend to always have some major life crisis but end with a “happily ever after”.  Maybe I can blame this on growing up near Disneyland; maybe they poisoned my drinking water with a potion that would make me a pathetic romantic woman who reads paperbacks.  So, the moral to this little fact about me: if you like cheesy paperbacks then you should stop by my next garage sale because I will have a lot (I need to invest in a eReader, add that to my “if I had a ton of money” list)

4.       I sometimes leave my filter at home.  Now, this might not surprise you a ton but I can be a little snarky.  There are some people who go on the internet and take on a whole different personality than what they are in real life.  Like maybe you will meet someone online who is super funny, pretty, and dresses great but you meet them and they don’t talk, they obviously posted a fake picture, and they cross-dress.  Well, don’t worry about this, I will completely embarrass you with my humor and ask inappropriate questions whenever I get an opportunity.  It’s become an art.  This, just like my dirty house, is another thing my husband would enjoy changing about me.  He’s a pretty quiet guy, super easy going, and just all around nice.  I am loud, high strung, and maybe a little bit too much for some people to handle.  But thankfully, opposites attract.  The moral to this little fact about me: if you don’t like my snarky humor online, then you probably don’t want to get stuck in an elevator with me when the power goes out. 

5.       I want a baby girl.  I got on this big kick about being happy with whatever gender Heavenly Father gave me.  I would give that whole cheesy “as long as the baby is healthy” response when people would ask what gender I was hoping for.  But now that I have a house full of boys, the thought of never having a little girl is starting to weigh on me.  So much that I’ve actually started to Google pricing for getting my husband’s sperm spin to increase our chances of having a girl (surprisingly it doesn’t cost nearly as much as I thought it would).  I think I’ve convinced my husband to try for our #4 this fall (he is still denying this but he also denied that he would marry me up until he signed the certificate) but sadly it will most likely be my last pregnancy.  So if my last baby comes home with an “outie” instead of an “innie”, I will love it just the same.  But when no one is around, I might break out a box full of pink dresses and dress him up.  Moral to this little fact about me: if you have a baby girl, you shouldn’t ask me to babysit because you may not get her back (unless she cries, I’m not a fan of crying babies… even if the crying baby is wearing pink).

Alright, I hope those five little facts about me helps you to get a better understanding about who I am.  Not that you care.  But if you do, then now you know.  It’s 1am and I’m off to watch a few more hours of the Olympics because I am obsessed with them.  I will also admit that with every new sport that comes on I think “I wonder if my kids could do that”.  Yup, I’m that mom; trying to figure out how to get my kids to win gold medals even if they don’t love the sport.  They will learn to suck it up, do good, and make mama proud!  

The OVERPRICED oc fair is in town!

So my Facebook feed has been swamped with people posting their pictures from the OC Fair.  Have you thrown the family in the car yet and driven to Costa Mesa for a day filled with overpriced rides, expensive deep friend chicken legs wrapped in 1 lb. of bacon, and indulged in the numerous carnival games that are almost impossible to win? 

Can you tell how I feel about the fair?  I feel bad, I really wished I loved it... but I don't.  I'm a mom with three kids on a VERY freshly squeezed budget and I'm honestly not nearly as patient as I wish I was.  I will confess: there have been times in my kids life where I have had to raise my voice; there have been times where I have had to raise my voice every other minute for every hour for every day for a week straight.  And the crowds at the fair, while keeping track of all of them, listening to them whine about what they want to eat or what ride they want to go on, while adding up the expense... will put me in a hospital!

So, I avoid the fair.  My nerves thank me.  My husband (the penny counter) thanks me.  And my oranges that have almost nothing left to squeeze... really thank me.

Your turn:
Are you going to skip the fair this year in an effort to avoid hospitalization fees?  Will you go and end up regretting it when you realize (after you come home) how much you spent?  Are is the fair the very best thing since New Kids on the Block and you think its a reasonable price?

Just remember-- that $100+ you spend could have been spent on a nice relaxing day at a spa WITHOUT your kids! ;)

Let Freedom Ring... and birthday candles sing.

We are finally home from our family vacation!  It was a great trip and I'm looking forward to posting lots of pics & tips.  The day after we pulled back into our driveway with a minivan FILLED with dirty clothes, dirty kids, and lots of junk... I had a birthday/4th of July party to throw.

So what do you do when you need to plan a party?  Exactly as you guessed...  I ran straight to Pinterest and started to look for ideas.  Ideas that would look cute without the pictures winding up on some "Nailed It" website (you know exactly what that means).  With my other kids I really took months to plan their parties, so with only a few hours to make this work I think it turned out pretty good.

I'm going to break my rule with posting pictures of my family, because Thing 3 is just so darn cute I have to give him a little blog time.  So without further adieu, here is my son's 1st Birthday/4th of July party (courtesty of Pinterest & no sleep):

For the birthday cake I ended up making a stand (I borrowed this idea from my friend Cecily a few years back) and filled it with cupcakes.  The stand is just made out of four different sized stroyfoam circles I bought at Michaels.  I covered them using scrapbook paper (I've also used wrapping paper) and ribbon on the outside.  I then used cans for the center (pumpkin filler for the bottom three and the top has a tuna can).  The very top was a balloon weight I found at the 99 Cent Store and I added the "1" with a hot glue gun.  The cut outs were handmade (ran out of time) and just hot glue gunned to toothpicks and shoved into the cupcakes. 

In the background you can also see the handmade sign.  I just used the same scrapbook paper that was part of the cupcake stand and used the Circuit for the letters. 

Saving money tip:  Reuse the stroyfoam circles for the other kids birthdays & save your birthday signs for the next year.  I also use boxed cupcake mix and make homemade frosting (my neigbor actually helped me make it this year) to give it a better flavor.

4th of July 1st Birthday Cake/Cupcake Tower

Now, it's time for the snacks and all of my Pinterest ideas:

The idea came from http://eighteen25.blogspot.com and I just reused the same scrapbook paper as the cupcake tower & sign

My adorable neighbor helped me make these.  I found the idea from http://lisastorms.typepad.com/lisa-storms/2011/06/4th-of-july.html

Can't foget the fruit salad.  This idea was found on witandwhistle.com

This idea was actually my neighbors.  It's YUMMY muddy buddies (recipe found on Rice Chex cereal box) with a little red chocolate added into it.  The star bowl was found at the 99 Cent Store.

Well, I'm glad to be back in The OC and will be posting a ton this summer with fun tips & ideas on how to save money while enjoying our great area.  But until then, here is one more picture of my Lil' Man:

Enjoying his bounce house ($60 rental found on Craigslist) and his newly grown mustache.

Sneak Peek of Recipes Posting this Week!

Here are a few sneak peek pictures of recipes I will be posting this week.  All the recipes are easy (I'm not a cook, so if I can make it edible... so can you) and relatively inexpensive (the Low Country Boil is a little pricey because of the shrimp, but it's been on sale lately and feeds A LOT).

Here is the Low Country Boil that we grubbed on for Father's Day.  It was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!  I have some good hints & tricks and will be posting all of the details tomorrow (Tuesday, June 19th).

Low Country Boil

This is one of my very favorite breakfast recipes.  Good ol' Biscuits & Gravy with runny eggs underneath.  I ignore the screaming of my thighs (that often yell at me that they can't grow any larger) and shovel this into my mouth; enjoying every single bite. Will post on Wednesday, June 20th. 

Homemade Biscuits & Gravy

Quick and easy Banana Cake.  If you just took a bite, you would assume I actually took out the flour and sugar to make this, but it's a box cake with some added banana.  No one would ever guess. Will post on Friday, June 21st.

Banana Cake-
Great plain or with some cream cheese frosting on top

So make sure that you come back soon for some great recipes.

Also, don't forget to "LIKE" us on Facebook and "Follow Us" on Twitter.

Damn you perfect Pinterest blog people!

Are you addicted to Pinterest?  Do you spend hours and hours every week looking on that website for adorable new ideas from photography to home décor to cooking to crafts with the kids?  It is filled with links to so many adorable blogs.  Blogs filled with pictures of perfect families and perfect homes that are actually cleaned (not just pictures of homes where toys were shoved off to the side and cropped out).  I hate those blogs. 

Seriously though, where are those people’s kids when they are doing all these cute crafty things?  I have about 1,249 DIY ideas that I want to one day work on, however, that one day won’t probably show up until I’m retired (AKA- my kids move out) and by then they will be completely outdated.    I can’t even shower alone, so how on earth does some expect me to get out a nail gun and a table saw?  That screams “trip to the ER” and missing body parts.

I finally decided to go through all of my pins and pick a project to take on; one that didn’t require any hand tools or much time.  I came across this pin:

Doesn't the picture just ook amazing?  Do you see even a speck of  water mark in tht sink?  Or maybe some dust on that window?  Grease on the back splash?  NOTHING, because these Pinterst bloggers are super-human creatures.

Cute, right?  I thought it would look nice next to my sink.  The blog is http://www.natalme.com/ and the author who is a mom of four kids and a photographer and a home décor guru and pretty much a person who will make you feel like crap because it’s two in the afternoon and you are still in your pajama’s and staring at dishes in the sink but looking through her blog envying her life.  Oh, you don’t ever do that?  Yeah, me neither.  And besides, if you click on the “About Me” tab you will realize she lives in Utah.  Which right way is a red flag that she is going to be pretty and crafty and amazing at blogging.  Don’t believe me?  Well if there was a Blogging Olympics, then Utah would win the gold medal every single year.

Alright, back on topic.  I went to Ikea and picked up a plate ($1) and a candlestick ($4) and two soap/lotion containers $6.  I then stopped by Lowe’s and grabbed some spray paint (the candlestick was originally black) and some heavy duty glue.  All of this sounds pretty easy, right?  WRONG.  The Ikea kids play area was filled, which meant I had to drag all three of my brats (I meant “boys”) through that enormous store all while screaming “DON’T TOUCH THAT” and “GET BACK HERE” and trying to smile at those who stared.  Then we had to repeat the same conversation at Lowe’s.  By the time I got home, I turned on the television for them and ran to the side of the house hoping they wouldn’t follow.

I quickly scraped up the candlestick with some sandpaper I “borrowed” from my husband’s garage (yes, he owns it).  I then sprayed the candlestick, waited for it to dry, and sprayed it again.  After all of that, I took a long break to stop a fight that broke out between the boys and a remote control and even made time to breastfeed the baby.  When my husband arrived home and the kids went to bed, I glued the plate to the candlestick.  24 hours later it was ready to go.  I threw a cloth napkin over the top (thank you Target clearance), put the soap bottles on it, and displayed it by my sink with pure satisfaction.  I FINALLY DID A PINTEREST PROJECT.

Here is my AMAZINGLY AWESOME soap dispenser platter-thingy:

I couldn't put mine by my sink or window because both are dirty and I didn't feel like cleaning them!

I might attempt a new project next year… maybe.

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KINGS ARE THE CHAMPS!

You cannot imagine the yelling that has gone on in my house this evening.  After YEARS of being a Los Angeles King’s family and living in Orange County, it’s about time that our dedication and love has paid off.

WAY TO GO KINGS!!!

So now, I have one word for you: PARADE!

Hope to see all of you there.  I will post information on time & location once it is announced.  

Monday... already!

Posts to look forward to today:

Review & pictures of Cars Land (California Adventure)

Inexpensive way to decorate a room (or nursery)

Dessert Recipe (cheap and easy)

I try to update the blog at least once a day, so make sure that you “follow” us or sign-up for an email notification.  We are also on Facebook & Twitter.  So you can read my ridiculous humor all day long!

Fairy Godmother WANTED

Trying to catch up; that is the theme for today.  Over the weekend, as we were headed to JPL’s open house, I started to feel sick.  By the time we started to head home, the fever began.  It’s all pretty much a blur after that.  Thankfully it happened over the weekend when my husband was home and around to help me with the kids.  But as I was lying in the bathtub, in an attempt to fight the chills, I couldn’t stop thinking about how badly I needed a Fairy Godmother.

I blame all the movies I watched as a small child and the Disney books we read at school, but when I’m having a really horrible day I keep hoping that some beautiful fairy in some gigantic frilly dress is going to pop in and take away all my problems.  Corny?  Maybe.  Unrealistic?  Maybe not.

So, I really think that one of my amazing blog readers needs to start a business; a fairy godmother business.  There should be women out there with experience in keeping a house clean, cooking, watching kids, and taking care of the sick that are willing to share they skills with moms in need  for a reasonable fee.  Just think about it, if you are sick during the week and your husband is at work wouldn’t it be amazing to get on the phone and call a “Fairy Godmother” who will show up and get the kids dressed and ready, pack the lunches, get them to school on time, come back and do the laundry, play with the baby, feed you soup and bring you herbal tea, and leave when your husband gets home. 

Mom’s are honestly the most amazing people I have ever met.  Multi-tasking becomes a necessity to survive.  It becomes so essential in our lives that we don’t even realize that we are doing it.  The other day when my mom stopped over she laughed at me as I was breastfeeding the baby, talking on the phone and all while doing dishes and watching the other kids play in the backyard.  And if that would have happened during a week that I was sick, I would also be wiping my snotty nose and trying not to cough in my nursing baby’s face.    The day never seems to slow down, no matter how crappy I may feel.

So without getting on my hands and knees, I beg that someone start this business.  And keep in mind “reasonable” pricing.  Imagine us moms as Cinderella’s trapped inside a house with no money and a ton of chores but in desperate need of a break.  But we don't want to go to some fancy ball, we would rather just sleep in our bed without being interrupted all day.  Forget the prince, we already met him; he’s at work! 

Just Another Manic... Saturday.

Weekends are always hectic with our family.  This morning we got an alarm system installed (nice peace of mind when husband works late), and after doing a lot of research on pricing I’m very satisfied with how much we spent (email me if you would like information).  And now we are getting ready for a day of fun at JPL’s open house. 

What are you doing today?  Going to the OC BBQ to support Kristi’s Kids?  Going to the JPL open house?  Did you attend the Disneyland Passholder’s Sneak Peak of Cars Land? 

If you did or are doing anything fun in or around Orange County this weekend, post a comment.  I’m sure that many of us are looking for fun (yet cheap) entertainment with the kids. 

Going to the beach... with kids!

Family Circle Magazine- June 2012

Last night, while finishing up a half eaten Rice Krispy Treat one of my kids left in his lunch box (don’t judge) I opened up a magazine that was sitting in a pile of mail on my counter.   Without looking at the title of the magazine, I just started to flip through the pages.  I stopped at the pictures of these hot models in their one piece bathing suits and snickered.  Obviously, these models were not meant to look like moms.  But then, I saw the cover, it was the “Family Circle” June 2012 edition.  What the heck?

I love each and every one of my friends, and though many of them are very good looking, none of them have ever looked anything even close to this while going to the beach.  I would expect that a magazine that is sold to mothers would know that. 

But, since the magazine obviously assumes we all have nanny’s or at the very least plastic surgeons and fitness trainers, let me educate them on what a real life scenario of a mom going to the beach looks like:

1.        My “one piece” is actually a tankini since it tends to flatter my body better.  And I’m usually trying to figure out a way to keep the boobs in the top (which actually means, keep them from smashing out since they are saggy and deflated but horrifyingly still big) , rather than flashing them to everyone.  Don’t forget the huge Mu-Mu (often referred to as a “cover up”),I wear over my bathing suit to help hide the 10-15 pounds (more like 20, but I would never admit that on a public blog) I’m still carrying around my stomach since having my first baby, the nice stretch marks I have collected on my upper thighs, and the bright white legs I have yet to get tan because I prefer capri’s to shorts.

2.       My hair, if even washed, is in a much messier pony tail that is usually half falling out (thanks to the baby who keep grabbing it) with a bunch of split ends (when does anyone have time to sit down for a haircut).

3.       Accessories don’t come in gold or silver, they tend to be huge items like the umbrella, chairs, cooler, diaper bag, sand toys, boogie boards, and a screaming baby on my hip.  And don’t expect to see my kids or anyone else helping me drag all these “accessories” over the hot sand because they have either ran up ahead while I’m screaming at them to stop or they are screaming for me to pick them up because they don’t want to walk.

4.       There is nothing calm and serene about my face.  The blood vessel on my forehead looks like it’s about to burst, I’m cursing to myself about how stupid it was to think that a trip the beach with three kids and just myself would be fun, and I’m shaking from forgetting to eat breakfast even though I cooked my kids a huge pancake meal. 

The list can go on for hours, but I’m pretty sure you get my point.  The pictures in this family magazine make me snort just as loud as the blogs that are meant for “budget families” that fill their posts with discounts like “Save $50 off of $550 for a one night stay at the beach” or “Enjoy brunch with the family at the Ritz Carlton for 10% off”. 

So, Family Circle Magazine, if you happen to stumble upon my silly little start-up blog I would like for you to know that I would much rather see a giveaway for a “Summer Nanny Helper” or an article on how to “Surgically add four more arms without having to take a day off of work to recover”.  Until then, this magazine is going to be just collecting space in my already full trash can.

Summer is almost here... staying busy

Now that summer is right around the corner, our schedule is getting crazy.  In an effort to get just a few minutes alone, I honestly have to grab a soda, sneak into the bathroom (with my laptop), lock the door, and hide in the empty tub hoping no one will notice I'm missing! 

We are off this afternoon/evening to Disneyland to get our "money's worth" before our passes go black tomorrow.  Our plan is to go on a few rides and fill our bellies with Dole Whips and corn dogs. 

As a preview for later this evening, I'm going to be posting "insider information" on how to order off-menu items at In-N-Out.  I got through high school with the use of those yellow Cliff Notes, so this will be my attempt to pay it forward. 

Until then, if you are looking for dinner ideas on a budget; don't forget that it's Taco Tuesday.  Call ahead of time to your local Mexican restaurant and confirm that they are having a deal (usually, about 2 for $1-2).  Then order away!  If you want super cheap, Del Taco sells them on Tuesday's for 3 for $1.09.  And don't forget the chips & salsa!

Mom's say the Darndest Things

Do you ever scream something at your kid and then afterwards think, “Did I seriously just say that?”  Kids don’t only say the darndest things; they make their parents say the darndest things too. 

The odd and unusual things I have said to my children over the past week:

“You cannot lie about saying your prayers.”

“Stop peeing on your brother.”

“NO!  You cannot pee there; they have a restroom inside for a reason.”

“Yes, you are grounded.  You cannot say ‘You can’t change me’ to your Kindergarten teacher.”

“There is no such thing as a Booger Fairy.  Your nose is full of boogers because you have a cold.”

“Stop playing with and eating your boogers, go get a Kleenex.”

“You are right; I don’t know what it’s like to be 6 years old.  I’m sure it is very hard.”

“NO! You cannot fill the bathtub up with slime.”

And of course…

“Stop pulling your brother around the house.  He’s a BABY not a toy.”