In-N-Out will keep you young... kind of!

Protein Style

There is a new foreign language sweeping SoCal that they don’t teach in high school.  You can’t learn it from Rosetta Stone, nor buy a book about it.  It’s a secret language that I’m sharing with you today… you will thank me later.

The other day I went inside an In-n-Out to buy some lunch (99.9% of the time I use the drive-thru, but my oldest kids were in school and I thought I would treat myself to a lunch that I eat sitting down without a steering wheel in front of me) and I couldn’t help but listen to the guy in front of me placing his order.  He told the cashier that he wanted a “3x3, animal fries, large Neapolitan”.   Where aren’t any of those items on the menu?! 

So, after doing some research (aka- talked to the employees) I came up with a little directory on how to score “off menu” items at the best place in town.

Burgers

Grilled Cheese- exactly what it sounds like, you can get a burger without the meat (tomato, lettuce, onions, spread, cheese, bun).

Veggie Burger- This is just like the grilled cheese but without the cheese.

Protein Style (my personal favorite)- a burger without the bun, wrapped in lettuce (that is perfectly crisp and very yummy)

Animal Style (my husband’s favorite)- They cook the meat with mustard and add on extra items including pickles, spread, and grilled onions.

3x3- This is 3 meat patties and 3 slices of cheese.

2x4- This is 2 meat patties and 4 slices of cheese.

4x4- This is 4 meat patties and 4 slices of cheese

6x6- This is you when you need to really reconsider your eating habits

Double Meat- You can double the meat on your burger without any cheese

___x Meat- However many patties you want without any meat.

Flying Dutchman (Atkins lovers dream)- You get just 2 meat patties and 2 slices of cheese, nothing else… not even that warm fresh yummy bun.

Untoasted- Your bun will be soft (yuck)

Chopped Chilies- They have some fire hot chilies that they can add to your burger, just ask!

Medium Rare/Well Done- Just like a steakhouse; either pink in the middle or burnt

Sides

Animal Style Fries (I love these, but you need to make sure you have a fork)- Fries with cheese, grilled onions, and spread.

Well Done Fries- exactly what you would expect, they are extra crispy

Light Fries- under cooked fries (this is would be a “deal breaker” for me, if I was on a date and guy ordered these… we would not go out again)

Veggie Side- This will get you extra veggies in a wrapper, making yourself a salad (don’t forget some extra sauce)

Drinks

Neapolitan Shake (our kids love this)- when you mix all three shake flavors (strawberry, chocolate, vanilla) together

Root Beer Float- Vanilla Ice Cream and a little root beer

Large/Extra Large Shake- They will give you a larger size than the standard they offer on the menu.

Next time I roll up to the drive-thru in my swagger wagon, the kids screaming in the back, and my radio turned up loud to some hip hop song in my pathetic attempt to still feel young; I will feel like a cool kid, even if the highlight of my housewife day was finally finding the perfect shade of grey blackout curtains for my son’s bedroom.  Heck, maybe if I wear large enough glasses the kid standing outside to take my order won’t see my crow’s feet and severe eye bags and will think that I’m their older sister or at the very least, their super hot nanny!  The “off menu” lingo may be a better investment to hide my age than those highly overpriced eye creams. 

Off to In-n-Out I go…

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