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| My future baby. Like it? |
At the end of this month I will be celebrating my nine year anniversary
with my amazing husband, two days later I will be celebrating my 20th
birthday (yes, I got married at 11 year old and if you don’t believe me then
ask my plastic surgeon). I’ve thought
long and hard about what I want, and I’ve decided to finally move into the 21st
century by getting an Apple iPad. I am
tired of being the only person waiting in the pickup line at Thing #1’s school
without one to keep me entertained as parents in the front of the line (the
good parents that show up early and actually want to take their kids home)take
their time strapping Buffy and Blake tightly into their Mercedes station wagon
while giving them huge kisses and asking about their day, all while I’m dealing
with two screaming kids in the backseat and one that is threatening to pee his
car seat if I don’t take him to a bathroom “RIGHT NOW”. I mean seriously, I’m pretty sure some kids
in Coto are getting them on their 1st birthdays.
1. iPads
don’t get (many) STD’s viruses. I
have had a huge problem, in that past, with the websites that I frequent
(*cough* TMZ *cough*) leaving me with many broken promises and contagious
diseases. After feeling used and
unwanted, they also end up slowing down my computer to the point that my I
could paint my whole living room, clean up my mess, and watch the paint dry all
while my computer is still trying to open up Internet Explorer. My husband gets frustrated; he gets down
right mad. So this will not only save
my husband from premature wrinkling but it will also save us from any future
therapy sessions ($10 co-pays add up fast). My point- This will make my husband’s life so
much happier.
2. I’m saving trees, which equals dollar signs
when you add up all the $6 paperback books I keep purchasing from Target. I have already confessed to reading
horrible chick-lit books, and sadly this obsession doesn’t seem to be
fading. As a matter of fact, I’m in
desperate need to start a new book (any recommendations?) and my fingers keep
twitching each time I go to buy one at Target and notice the price tag. I know that I could be going to the library
but with the three kids, it ends up being a nightmare. I never know what I want, I try to drag them
to the adult fiction section all why trying to whisper things like “stop
talking” “don’t run” “stop hitting each other” and “get your finger out of your
nose”. It’s not very enjoyable. So I prefer Target, because they can behave
badly but I ignore it due to the vast amount of items in their 75% off
section. My point- books keep me entertained and out of the malls, but are
expensive, so I need an eReader… Stat.
3. Steve
Jobs is dead. Poor Steve Jobs passed
away and his wife and kids are left behind with mere pennies. So as a follow wife, mother, and woman I feel
like it is my duty to help support his family and to keep food in his
children’s bellies and a roof over their head.
We can write this off as me being a Humanitarian. My
point- this could possibly count as a tax deduction on our 2012 tax return.
4. I want to cook unbelievable recipes, but
need to find them first. Normally I
take our very expensive computer into my kitchen and use it to Google recipes
for dinner. Halfway through making those
amazing dinners, I start to get things in my laptop’s keyboard; like flour and
sugar. Eventually my laptop stops
working, or at least a few of the letters will start sticking together. So when I try to fill out the refinance
paperwork for our mortgage online it says that my name is “Rin” instead of
“Briana” due to the “B” and the “A” no longer being in service. Which then can lead to our loan being denied
due to fraud since that is obviously not my name. My
point- this could keep us out of jail for identity theft and your belly filled
with good food.
5. We will become unicorns and fly over
rainbows. Well, that’s not exactly
true. But I will be able to save all of
our kids photos on something called a “cloud” which will save you from having
to sync our laptops up to the external hard drive every time the news talks
about a new virus that is killing all the laptops and causing people to lose
their irreplaceable photos. And since I
have been known to freak out by those news reports, this will help calm my
nerves and relieve you from spending hours trying to sort through which photos
need to be moved over and which ones already have. My
point- At the end of this rainbow is a cloud, filled with iPads that are just
begging for you to take them home. So
buy one, buy one now.
6. It’s cheaper than the 2 carat diamond I
have already requested for our 10 year anniversary. This doesn’t really need an explanation, just
a mere “Thank you” will do.
I would love to make my list “10 Reasons Why I need an iPad” but I
stopped with ideas once I got to #7, so that is where all of you (my awesome
readers) come into play. Please post in
the comments section any reasons why you think it is completely necessary for
my husband to purchase me an iPad for my anniversary/birthday. And they have to be reasons why my husband
will want me to have one, not reasons that I want one. So no “they have a new vibrating app you can
purchase that works great when you are reading ’50 Shades of Grey’”, because I’m
pretty sure that won’t be a selling point for him.
Any and all reasons will be read and I will post next week my final
four to complete the list. Then I will
forward it to my husband, cross my fingers and toes, and pray that he will find
it in his heart to grant me this one wish.
Especially since I never, ever, ever ask for anything…
